Hey guys,
I need your feedback and/or opinion on something. See, I've been healing from the spiritual abuse I grew up with(you can read all about that here). With that comes recognizing triggers. At this point in time, I am unable to step foot into a church without multiple triggers happening, and I end up angry, frustrated, and hurt more than encouraged and filled.
Some would be concerned about the lack of community. To that I say one doesn't require a religious building in order to fulfill that need.
Some would say that going to church is a necessary part of one's journey in the Christian faith. To that I disagree. John the Baptist spent many solitary years in the wilderness. When I feel pressured by others to find a church to join, it only further pushes me away. If one is in a season of hiddenness or wilderness, the church should respect that.
Some would argue that you need spiritual covering of a church. Two words: Holy Spirit.
People aren't required to provide spiritual covering for an individual. Is it helpful? Yes. Is it always necessary? No. The Holy Spirit is all the spiritual covering you need.
What do you think? Do you think going to church is necessary? Are you attending/not attending church? What are the advantages of joining a congregation for you personally? What has been your experience regarding this topic?
For some reason I've missed your "New Skin" post. It was good to read over it before commenting here. I've also read some facebook comments about this topic and I agree with both Barry and Julieanne.
ReplyDeleteWith that said, having spent that one year of 5th grade in the same christian school that has bullied you and, to be honest, me, and also to have felt the disgrace, heart wrenching, "what have I done to deserve this?" feeling of a church that figuratively shut its doors in my family's face, I get you.
I also understand the triggers, and the pain, and the anxiety, and the anger. I still live within 20 miles of that church that has become a building that stabs my heart everytime I clap eyes on it. I trusted them, I knew those people for longer than I've known anyone else, I've been in that church longer than I've been anywhere else, longer than even the houses I lived in.
But now I've found a building housing a people that are broken but honest, struggling but loving, reaching for the Love of Jesus like they want it and actually striving actively to become more like him everyday. When they're hurt by one another they don't sulk and gossip they finally go up and sort it out like grown ups, most of the time, they at least try to. They're not perfect, they respect their women but still have a hard time putting them up front behind a podium, our head pastor loves the LGBT and has friends in that community but in order to to remain the head pastor of our church he is not allowed to speak in a way that accepts that way of life as anything other than sin but still speaks out in love and cherishes them as human beings who are no more sinners than the rest of us who have sins of lust and judgement.
As for me and my house, we will attend this church. It is reaching out and helping my parents in a way that our previous church did not. This community has gathered around us, and we have people inside and outside of our church showing us what community is really about. For me, its more than a place of worship, a pew to warm, or take notes in. Its a place with a common leader who encourages us to challenge him, ask him what he really means, and is all ears to varying opinions and answers all his emails.
So, what I'm trying to say here is that I hope you try. Remember church is meant to be more than just warming a pew listening to one person. Church is supposed to be a gathering place of believers that love and help one another, that respects a unified leader as Christ is the head of the church. And yes, I do believe that a time of solitude and wilderness wandering is important, Jesus even had his own times for that, our own head pastor just came back from 11 weeks of that. But were those wanderers and solitude seekers truly alone? Or did they have close friends within arms reach to love and support them on a daily/bi-daily basis? I don't think pure isolation/hermitude is good for anyone. John the baptist had his own followers and disciples and joined him in his wilderness and communion with God, Jesus spent brief times on the mountain with just him and his disciples away from the crowds as he sought after the Father. What I hope you find is a community that even in your isolation will gather around you and speak face to face Love and God's word to you that invites you in with open arms and comes to visit you when you need them.
But remember no one will know what you need unless you ask, as God encourages you to speak your needs rather than assume He knows, because the action of you asking Him is the humility He's seeking from you. <3
Thank you for being one of the most supportive people in this time of desert. You are so incredibly beautiful for it.
DeleteAbba's been working on my heart and I think I might be ready to find community again. I may have been abandoned by my church family back home, and I may have been put into an unexpected season, but there are open arms waiting for me at the end. And that is comforting in itself.