The Glorification of "Just Get Over It"

I love quotes. Words of inspiration, of wisdom. Little anecdotes of positivity to give you that little burst to get you through the day.

But sometimes, I'll come across little blurbs like this one, and I think to myself, "if only it were that easy."
You see, for those of us with mental illnesses, it's easier said than done. As someone who has depression, anxiety, and gets panic attacks, life is hardly ever lived in my comfort zone. Life is never normal. And when those moments hit, when all I want to do is curl up in my bed with the lights off and wish away the world and all of its problems, when I feel my heart start to race and all I can think is "I hate this" and "not again" and I have to stop what I'm doing in order to calm myself down, I wish for a comfort zone. I long for it. I pine.
I try to wish away the feelings of dread and panic every time my phone rings. I wish I didn't have to mentally prepare myself to do something so common as running to the grocery store or ordering a drink at a coffee shop because the thought of talking to strangers terrifies me. I wish I could stroll right up to that counter and blab away with all the confidence in the world. I wish I could enjoy a simple cuppa tea without the caffeine kicking in and being the dynamite to set off a panic attack. I wish I didn't have this dark cloud hanging over my head some days. I can't tell you how often I've beat myself up or had others beat me up for "being so negative." "Why are you so negative all the time?" "Quit being so negative." "Oh my god, just get over it."
So I just shut up. I stop talking. I keep it all bottled up inside because nobody wants to hear that most days are wonderful, but today's not so great. Nobody wants to hear that as soon as I woke up this morning, those dark thoughts crept up in my brain and I had to try so hard to remind myself that these thoughts are not my own. That it's only because of a chemical imbalance in my brain. That I'm a brilliant and creative person who deserves love and has much to offer the world. That depression doesn't identify who I am.

I wish.

I wish I didn't feel the need to escape my own mind.

But wishing isn't going to get me anywhere. My day to day routine is not normal.
So I pick myself up and dust myself off and continue living out of the comfort zone. But what is comforting to know is that I'm not the only one. There are kindred spirits out there. So we find one another and keep each other encouraged. We paint and write and compose. We tell our stories. We find those little pockets of good and light and positivity and we grab hold and don't let go.

We find the comfort.

And that, dear ones, is where I find life begins.

Home.

Hello friends!

I've been in Ireland for a bit over a year now. I've enjoyed my time here and have learned so much.

But, I'm feeling quite burned out, and I need to come home for a little bit. I need to rest and recharge before getting back out there.

I need to fundraise $1500 for a plane ticket and to take care of other affairs while I'm gone. I'm looking to fly home on May 1st, and fly back to Ireland on May 30th. If you would like to donate, you can do so by paypal (button is on the right hand side) or via email transfer to sf.rochel@gmail.com.

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone soon!

Thanks for partnering with me so far, I really appreciate it!

Good News: Nobody Has Their Shit Together

Photo cred: unsplash.com

Although Canadian Thanksgiving has come and gone, I found myself reflecting on this past year. It's been a year like no other, quite possibly the most challenging and worst and best year of my life so far.

I moved my life to Ireland.

Those of you who have packed up your life to move to another country, you understand the weight of what it means to start over from scratch. Moving to another country is HARD. People forget you exist. Once you're out of sight, you're out of mind. You lose friends and the safety net you didn't realize you relied so heavily on. And the hardest part of this whole picking up roots thing, is that you realize just how much you don't have your shit together.

And people notice.  They notice how this hard season has reshaped you. They don't like the way your thinking has changed, the way your theology has changed, the way you changed. Some people will try to "encourage" you with nothing but negativity and poking and prodding at all your insecurities. They will view your life from the outside, not know all the tiny, intricate, most intimate details, and tell your to flat out give up. Pack it in. Go home. But what they don't realize, my fellow people who have started over, is that nobody has their shit together.
Whether it's moving, or planning a wedding, or expecting a new baby, or quitting your job, or grieving a lost loved one, or even just trying to get through the school semester, not one person has all their ducks in a row at the same time.

So, my fellow movers, be encouraged. Know that you're not the only one, and trust me when I say that it's going to be okay.

It's tough work uprooting your entire life, but you're brave for doing it.